Friday, August 17, 2007
field camp
feels like i haven't been here in ages. i'm fine btw.
i'm back from my second field camp now. we were supposed to set up an ambush, but we were the ones who got ambushed by the swarms of mosquitoes and angry red ants. itchin like crazy now. got one last field camp on monday. it's the big one on tekong and i am personally not looking forward to it at all, though i wouldn't mind meeting one of my sergeants back there. it probably won't happen.
bmt felt like a lifetime trapped in tekong but this course really flashed by. it sucks in a way. it feels like i'm just getting to know a lot of guys in my platoon and some of them are pretty cool. i don't think i'm the same person i was at bmt. i spent like 3 months there and i can't even name half my damn platoon. right now, i could call every single platoon mate by name already. i hate this aspect of life where we're always forced to move on. cos it's tough for me to bring stuff along as i do.
2 more weeks to my first real rank. can hardly wait. people already ordering uniforms with chevrons sewed on.
i'm back from my second field camp now. we were supposed to set up an ambush, but we were the ones who got ambushed by the swarms of mosquitoes and angry red ants. itchin like crazy now. got one last field camp on monday. it's the big one on tekong and i am personally not looking forward to it at all, though i wouldn't mind meeting one of my sergeants back there. it probably won't happen.
bmt felt like a lifetime trapped in tekong but this course really flashed by. it sucks in a way. it feels like i'm just getting to know a lot of guys in my platoon and some of them are pretty cool. i don't think i'm the same person i was at bmt. i spent like 3 months there and i can't even name half my damn platoon. right now, i could call every single platoon mate by name already. i hate this aspect of life where we're always forced to move on. cos it's tough for me to bring stuff along as i do.
2 more weeks to my first real rank. can hardly wait. people already ordering uniforms with chevrons sewed on.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
When it all falls down, who will take the blame?
well the shits most certainly hit the fan right now.
we knew something was amiss. everything was, as we said, way too quiet and it was only a matter of time before it all fell apart. but i never thought it would be so fast, or this big. and its not just one thing, its everything and its going to involve everyone. maybe its just part and parcel of being human, where things that go right will eventually collapse in our faces, where the people we look up to the most are never quite as perfect as we imagine them to be in our minds.
i'm feeling just about lost right now. so much going wrong already, so much more tipping over the edge into chaos. and me? well there's almost nothing that i can do. its not like the problems of the past, where you can throw money at the problem or even close one eye or better yet, close both eyes and ears and imagine the problem is gone. this is simply to big to ignore. things have gone way out of control.
and there's really nothing i can do.
and the problems are so overwhelming,
and its going to tear everything apart,
and i only hope its not going to be the end of everything.
we knew something was amiss. everything was, as we said, way too quiet and it was only a matter of time before it all fell apart. but i never thought it would be so fast, or this big. and its not just one thing, its everything and its going to involve everyone. maybe its just part and parcel of being human, where things that go right will eventually collapse in our faces, where the people we look up to the most are never quite as perfect as we imagine them to be in our minds.
i'm feeling just about lost right now. so much going wrong already, so much more tipping over the edge into chaos. and me? well there's almost nothing that i can do. its not like the problems of the past, where you can throw money at the problem or even close one eye or better yet, close both eyes and ears and imagine the problem is gone. this is simply to big to ignore. things have gone way out of control.
and there's really nothing i can do.
and the problems are so overwhelming,
and its going to tear everything apart,
and i only hope its not going to be the end of everything.
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